Life is Hard
I'm not always proud of me. I'm just not.
I question myself a lot... some would say: too much. I question my decisions and my actions. I question my abilities. I question the impact that I have on this world. And I doubt myself... daily.
I demand so much of myself... some would say: too much. I demand that I do more... be more. I demand of my body and my mind. I demand of my heart... which in turn, breaks every single day.
I don't take my own excuses, even when they're legitimate. I don't listen to my own wants... I deny my own needs. I can be a real pain in the ass... but even still, I don't take my own crap.
I try not to complain... I'm so lucky to do what I love. And trust me when I say: I absolutely love what I do. But my life isn't easy, and sometimes... it really gets to me.
My friends and family love me for who I am... but also, they miss me. I miss them, too. When the world of animal rescue continues to demand more and more of my time, these are the people who suffer. They understand, and they accept my reality for what it is, but still, ,they wish that things could be different. I wish the same. I look at them... and I feel immense guilt, shame, and sadness.
But responsibility is responsibility, and I own up to mine.
So... on Christmas day, as everyone spends time with their families... I'm working at Lucky Dog Rescue. The same goes for Thanksgiving... and New Year's... and Easter... and Mother's and Father's Days. On these days, I work... alone.
Dog rescue volunteers are few and far between. On holidays, they're non-existent. So, I wake up, and I work. Then, I fix myself some kind of lame sandwich for lunch, and I get back to work. I have no choice. The dogs need me. They have no one else.
As others plan their vacations, I can't afford to go. Even if I had the money, "vacation days" no longer exist for me. Neither do sick days. Or weekends.
This is the reality of life in animal rescue. Help is limited. Funds are too. Sanity and normalcy are for everyone else.
Life is hard.
Rescue is harder.
At the same time, I'm a lucky chick. I'm sooo lucky. I save lives... every single day. In truth, I bring dogs back to life... dogs that have been "dead" for years. In return, I receive more love than I can stand... just by showing up. Few people are that lucky.
On any given day, I'm busting my ass for these rescue dogs... and on each of those days, I'm one of the luckiest people you know. Trust me on that.
On my very worst day, I'm surrounded by love. When I cry, I have a dog shelter full of kisses to heal my heart. When I smile, they smile too. Smiles that say, "Thank you," "I love you," and "You have made a difference."
Smiles that say, "Merry Christmas, Mom." "Happy Mother's Day, Mom." "Happy Birthday, Mom."
Smiles that say, "I am the reason you do it."
I look at those smiles, and suddenly, my questions are answered. My life makes sense... and my body, mind, and soul are replenished.
Life is hard.
Rescue is harder.
But nothing has ever been so worth it.
Click here to donate to Lucky Dog Rescue!
I question myself a lot... some would say: too much. I question my decisions and my actions. I question my abilities. I question the impact that I have on this world. And I doubt myself... daily.
I demand so much of myself... some would say: too much. I demand that I do more... be more. I demand of my body and my mind. I demand of my heart... which in turn, breaks every single day.
I don't take my own excuses, even when they're legitimate. I don't listen to my own wants... I deny my own needs. I can be a real pain in the ass... but even still, I don't take my own crap.
I try not to complain... I'm so lucky to do what I love. And trust me when I say: I absolutely love what I do. But my life isn't easy, and sometimes... it really gets to me.
But responsibility is responsibility, and I own up to mine.
So... on Christmas day, as everyone spends time with their families... I'm working at Lucky Dog Rescue. The same goes for Thanksgiving... and New Year's... and Easter... and Mother's and Father's Days. On these days, I work... alone.
Dog rescue volunteers are few and far between. On holidays, they're non-existent. So, I wake up, and I work. Then, I fix myself some kind of lame sandwich for lunch, and I get back to work. I have no choice. The dogs need me. They have no one else.
As others plan their vacations, I can't afford to go. Even if I had the money, "vacation days" no longer exist for me. Neither do sick days. Or weekends.
This is the reality of life in animal rescue. Help is limited. Funds are too. Sanity and normalcy are for everyone else.
Life is hard. Rescue is harder.
At the same time, I'm a lucky chick. I'm sooo lucky. I save lives... every single day. In truth, I bring dogs back to life... dogs that have been "dead" for years. In return, I receive more love than I can stand... just by showing up. Few people are that lucky.
On any given day, I'm busting my ass for these rescue dogs... and on each of those days, I'm one of the luckiest people you know. Trust me on that.
On my very worst day, I'm surrounded by love. When I cry, I have a dog shelter full of kisses to heal my heart. When I smile, they smile too. Smiles that say, "Thank you," "I love you," and "You have made a difference."
Smiles that say, "Merry Christmas, Mom." "Happy Mother's Day, Mom." "Happy Birthday, Mom."
Smiles that say, "I am the reason you do it."
I look at those smiles, and suddenly, my questions are answered. My life makes sense... and my body, mind, and soul are replenished.
Life is hard.
Rescue is harder.
But nothing has ever been so worth it.
Click here to donate to Lucky Dog Rescue!
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